Listening to This Podcast Makes Me “Happier”

I am always seeking ways to better myself as a human being. Discovering simple ways to live “happier” is one way that I can do that.

People always say that it’s hard to make others happy if you are unhappy. So true! I know that if I am taking time for myself and doing the things that make me happy, I have much more attention and energy to give to my family. Being happy doesn’t always come easy though. For me it requires daily work, plus lots of reminders of all the things that I have to be grateful for.

About a year ago, I stumbled across a podcast that I instantly fell in love with. “Happier with Gretchen Rubin” follows author of The Happiness Project, Gretchen Rubin along with her sister, Elizabeth Craft. They uncover ways to live happier, healthier, more creative, and more productive lives. The podcast provides simple and attainable suggestions for self-improvement. In addition, it covers a wide range of topics surrounding the idea of happiness. The first episode came out in February of 2015, and I started at the beginning. I’ve been binging my way through the episodes ever since.

The Four Tendencies

One of the things that the sisters talk a lot about on the podcast is The Four Tendencies. This is a personality framework that Gretchen created. The Four Tendencies Quiz takes you through a series of questions that will help you to determine your tendency: Upholder, Questioner, Obliger, or Rebel. When Gretchen first introduced the tendencies on the podcast, I knew immediately that I fell HARD into the Obliger category. I took the quiz anyway and confirmed my suspicion. I also made my husband take the quiz. His results labeled him a Rebel, which was no surprise to me! If you want to know more, or are interested to know your own tendency, you can find the free quiz here.

Gretchen talks a lot about how knowing a person’s tendency can help you to have happier, more positive, and productive interactions. We often have different tendencies than our peers (spouses, family members, co-workers, friends…) It is easy to become frustrated when people don’t respond to things the way that we see as the most logical. Understanding a person’s tendency helps us to understand exactly WHY someone may respond differently than we would to a situation. This allows us to avoid frustration and look for creative ways to approach things – ways that speak directly to their tendency.

Knowing Your Partner’s Tendency

Being an Obliger, I rely heavily on outer accountability. It is hard for me to meet my inner expectations without an outside force holding me accountable. On the flip side, I readily meet outer expectations. I am a people pleaser. My husband’s Rebel tendency means that he doesn’t feel the need to meet inner OR outer expectations, unless they are on his terms. So you can see how we would sometimes clash! Knowing his tendency has changed the way that I communicate my expectations with him. It also has taught me not to get so frustrated when he doesn’t meet my requests without question. Now I know WHY he responds so differently than I do to things. It was like a light bulb moment when I finally figured that out!

Living Happier

The Four Tendencies framework has helped me a lot with relationships outside my marriage, too. It has come in handy for my relationships with extended family members, my friends, my co-workers… the list goes on! Of course, you can’t always guess someone’s tendency just by knowing them. What’s important is knowing and understanding that others may have different motivating factors driving them. This makes it easier to accept our differences and to communicate in ways that will speak to those motivations. And that makes everyone HAPPIER!

Learn more about Gretchen Rubin here.
Take The Four Tendencies Quiz here.
Listen or subscribe to the Happier podcast here.

Pin this post on Pinterest.