This year has definitely challenged my family and I in many ways.
We all undergo trials, and how we navigate through them is up to us. I found myself stretched too thin to try and be present for all my sisters. I would talk to one and give my all to support her. Then I’d move on to the next and do the same for each one of them, but I felt I couldn’t give any more of myself. I was wondering why I wasn’t fully present with them in their situations.
So I had to look within and find out what was causing my distance. I too have been experiencing my own challenges and was already overwhelmed. I have been experiencing pain in my body. Trying to find ways to feel better has been taking up lots of my time. I knew this was causing me to be distant. I had trips planned and felt guilty about enjoying my own life while my sisters were going through tough times. I’m trying to be present in my own life, I thought! I don’t have the energy to fix everyone else’s problems.
Sometimes life is unfair . . . and my loved ones are hurting, going through unexpected times. Meanwhile, I am enjoying my life. How can I do this? I can’t enjoy life right now! I have to also suffer so that my sisters know I care!
But I realized, we can’t feel guilty about where each of us is in our lives. We all have unexpected times, tough times, and we all have good times. And this is all part of life. Once I understood this, I then became present for my sisters and knew that my purpose wasn’t to fix the situation but to be present for them through these moments of uncertainty.
Harmony Within Yourself
My first tip for being present is to have harmony within yourself. Know who you are, create a mental and emotional space that’s right for you, and know how much you can handle. Know your boundaries and limits, and then know how to communicate that with your sibling.
Gratitude
The second tip is to have gratitude. Gratitude for where you are in life at this exact moment. Be very present in this moment because there is no other like it. This helps to be present for others in their moments.
Listen Without Judgment
My third tip is to listen without judgment. Listening is such a difficult thing to do because we all just want to talk about ourselves. But if you really want to be present for your siblings and others, you must listen. Listening means to receive, empathize, and acknowledge what they are feeling, not fix the situation!
Embrace the Ups and Downs
My last tip is to understand that what we go through in life is the journey, it’s what will make us stronger! All the bad and good things in life are not bad or good, they are just experiences. We can choose to see them as bad or good, or we can simply see them as life experiences and learn from them.
I choose to learn from these experiences and to be present with my sisters in every situation. I try to look within if I’m feeling depleted to create that mental and emotional space that’s right for me in every relationship.
The well-known Indian guru Sadhguru said, “if your life becomes an expression of your joy, not in pursuit of happiness, then your relationships will be naturally wonderful.”
The opinions expressed in this post are those of the author. They do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of ABQ Mom, its executive team, other contributors to the site, its sponsors or partners, or any organizations the aforementioned might be affiliated with.
