It’s been four years since I had my first baby. I am currently 29 weeks pregnant with our second child, and honestly, it feels like this is my first pregnancy. Not only has this pregnancy been very different (the first trimester was rough!), but now I am also simultaneously caring for a very active four-year-old.
My First Birth
During my first birth (which was pre-covid), I was able to have multiple people in the delivery room in addition to family members in the waiting room. My husband, middle sister, and my mom were all with me in the delivery room. My husband and my sister were both rockstars. Since my mom delivered all of her children via c-section, it was a very different experience for her and it was difficult for her to see me in pain.
» » » » » RELATED READ: 5 Misconceptions About Doulas: And Why You Need One « « « « « «
My middle sister is a physician assistant, and even though delivering babies wasn’t her specialty, it was important for me to have her there. As for my husband, he was amazing throughout despite this being our first child. Bottom line: my support team was wonderful, and both baby and I were healthy despite some minor setbacks during the delivery (thank you, son, for turning your head and making me work extra hard to bring you into this world!). I was so thankful for my family and for the hospital staff that took good care of us during the scary times. Their support was invaluable.
What Is the Role of a Doula?
Back then, I wasn’t too familiar with what a doula did. Honestly, it seemed silly to me to pay a stranger to be in the room with me helping deliver my baby. However, one of my best friends took an interest in pursuing her certification as a doula, and it was through her that I learned more about their role. According to DONA International, “doulas are trained, experienced professionals who provide continuous emotional, physical, and informational support to mothers before, during and after childbirth.”
Did I mention I was sent home multiple times from the hospital while laboring with my first child? I thought my water broke . . . it hadn’t. I thought my contractions were close enough together . . . they weren’t. And I thought I was finally in full-blown labor but, as luck would have it, I was not yet dilated enough to be admitted! Fast forward and I now know that a doula can be with me during the early stages of labor to provide me with the support needed to prepare for baby’s arrival.
To recap, here are some of the things a doula can help support you with during labor:
- Being a knowledgeable person available when questions come up (besides your doctor).
- Providing different techniques to help mama relax and be in the moment during delivery.
- Advising when to go to the hospital.
- Being an advocate in the room to help keep your wishes and safety a priority.
- Supporting your partner and providing them with ways to support you.
- Helping take care of mom and baby post-delivery.
- Some doulas might also be certified to help with breastfeeding.
How I Found a Doula Service that Matched My Needs
There are many wonderful doula services in the area. I was feeling overwhelmed with the choices. So I decided to contact New Life Birth Services since I had spoken with them during an ABQ Mom event. I also took it a step further and asked my best friend, who has doula training, to review the information with me and provide me with questions to ask.
Here are some of the questions I asked:
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- How many births have you attended?
- How would your previous clients describe you?
- Check their availability around and on your delivery date.
- Establish communication expectations (pre and post-labor).
- Further understand their role in the delivery room—ask any specific questions you have.
- Understand the pricing and the services that are included in the pricing.
A big question you might be asking yourself is: “This all sounds expensive. How does one pay for it on top of all of the expenses that come with having a baby?”
Well, there is a lot to consider. First, doula/birthing services might price services based on experience–the more experienced the doula, the higher the price. Secondly, you might ask if they offer any payment plan options. This might start a conversation that could help the doula service get a better understanding of your financial position. Lastly, you can include this service on your registry to help pay for it. Websites such as babylist.com allow you to include monetary donations on your registry.
Other Resources
Also there is a FREE program called the UNM Volunteer Birth Companion Program. The caveat is that you must be delivering at the University of New Mexico Hospital (UNMH). They provide a free birth companion to all families birthing at UNMH. This organization is volunteer-based, so you might check-in to see if they are a good fit for you. Find more information here.
» » » RECOMMENDED RESOURCE: The Ultimate Guide to Pregnancy and Postpartum « « «
All this to say, you should feel empowered to do the best thing for YOUR delivery! If this is your first birth, do your own research! Ask friends that have been through it, connect with other soon-to-be moms, advocate for yourself, and most importantly, enjoy this beautiful journey.
Check back with ABQ Mom later–I will plan on doing another post once I deliver this baby to talk about my experience!
The opinions expressed in this post are those of the author. They do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of ABQ Mom, its executive team, other contributors to the site, its sponsors or partners, or any organizations the aforementioned might be affiliated with.
