This post is part of a short editorial series about pregnancy brought to you by our partners at Lovelace Health Systems.
Labor of Love offers assistance finding a health care provider and insurance, as well as support accessing community resources before, during or after your pregnancy. To learn more about our Labor of Love program, call 505.727.7677.
Read the other posts in this series: Surviving the New Mexico Heat While Pregnant and Nutrition in Pregnancy :: How To Eat Well When All You Want Is Bread & Cheese.
When I went to my 20-week appointment, I was so excited to find out whether I was having a boy or girl. But that appointment led to a lot of worry during a complicated pregnancy.
Having something wrong with your baby during pregnancy is stressful.
So much is out of your control. All I wanted was to keep my baby safe. But I knew a lot of it was out of my hands.
When you’re dealing with a complicated pregnancy, it’s hard emotionally.
Throughout my complicated pregnancy, I found several ways of coping with the mental and emotional stress.
Find an Advocate and Doctor You Trust
These two people will be in the center of all your chaos.
If you’re not sure about the doctor you have, now is not the time to stick it out.
You need someone you can trust. Your doctor is your key to information and treatment. Find someone who makes you feel comfortable and heard.
And find someone to advocate for you.
For me, it was my husband.
Complicated pregnancies are stressful mentally and emotionally. There were times I didn’t know what to ask or how to process things. My husband came to appointments with me and helped me process information, think of questions, and advocated for me when I didn’t have the strength or energy.
Ask Questions About Your Complicated Pregnancy
I had to get good at this FAST.
For some people, it’s hard to ask questions. Do it anyway.
Your doctor is there to help keep you informed.
Even if you think the question is stupid, ask it. So your doctor puts you on pelvic rest . . . what exactly does that mean? Can you have sex? What exercise can you do safely?
There’s not a lot you can control in a complicated pregnancy. Asking questions to get information is one way to take control back.
Avoid Google During a Complicated Pregnancy
A little louder for the mamas in the back!
Seriously, Google is your enemy here.
My condition didn’t have a lot of information online. Whatever I could find didn’t make me feel any better.
Remember there is a difference between being informed and becoming obsessed in an unhealthy way.
Eventually I had to stop getting on Google.
If you have a doctor you trust and are asking questions, you’ll have all the information you need. Often getting on the web will just lead to more stress. And that’s the last thing you need right now.
Find Your Tribe
And ask them to hold on hard.
I don’t know what we would’ve done without our people.
They prayed for us. Close friends remembered appointment dates and checked in. Some offered food.
We aren’t islands. I fully believe we were made to be in relationship with other people. Having family and friends around to support you makes a world of difference.
Take some time to think of ways people can help. And then ask.
Your tribe will show up in huge ways.
Find Your Source of Strength
I’m not going to lie. This will most likely be one of the hardest times in your life. You will feel completely powerless at times.
There’s nothing like a complicated pregnancy to remind us how much is out of our control.
It helps to find some source of strength outside of yourself. For you it may be meditation or someone who is supporting you.
For us it was our faith.
We prayed. We asked friends and family to pray for us.
No matter what it is, finding that place you can run to is important. On your hardest days cling to it.
We were lucky enough to end our complicated pregnancy by welcoming our sweet girl (pictured above).
I pray it’s the same for you. And in the meantime, I hope some of these tips can help ease the fear.
Do you have any tips for getting through a complicated pregnancy?
Share them below!
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