Reflections From My Thirties

0

This year, I officially made it to my mid thirties! When I was seven-years-old, my mom had a favorite shirt that read, “Thirty Something.” She wore it with an air of confidence. It was a long, comfy, black oversized t-shirt, the kind that looks good with everything. Now that I’m in my thirties, I realize why she liked that shirt so much.

In a way, that’s what being in your thirties feels like because we are much more comfortable in our own skin.

thirties | Albuquerque Moms Blog

But this fourth decade of life not all orgasms and jewelry parties. Plenty of things change, and it takes some getting used to. 

Is it still called an “LBD” if there’s two numbers in the size now?

I can’t tell where my arm pit hair ends and my boob hair begins. 

In my twenties, I had a pair of pants that read, “JUICY” on the butt.  Now I pray no one is looking at my butt. I guess it was an omen of the cellulite to come.

Cleavage is a bad word in your thirties. It used to be sexy. Now it’s just offensive. But on the flip side, the F word is much more acceptable, especially if you have kids. 

Showers, AKA the torture chamber.  I used to take hour long showers as a teenager. I even had a shower radio that I cranked up and sang along to for those extra stressful high school days. Nothing says spoiled teenager better than jacking up a water bill you don’t pay for while practicing for American Idol.  

So much has changed. I don’t remember the last time I showered alone. In my twenties showers were something to look forward to. Now it means I wash two small humans while keeping them from cracking their heads open on the slippery shower floor as they argue and annoy each other. There’s still singing but it’s usually my six-year-old belting out Taylor Swift. 

My stomach will never look like it did in my twenties. I know that. But will it ever look like a stomach again? 

I think my face is mad at me because every time I look in the mirror, it looks mad at me. 

I recently found out that if I go too long without highlights, fake nails, and waxing my mustache, I look a lot like my grandfather.  

So here’s to being in our thirties and not caring as much about what people think of us.  Now go drink some coffee, put on some gangsta rap and handle it!