Being a stay-at-home mom of a toddler and infant is HARD. Much harder than I thought it would be. Lately, I’m having a really hard time balancing the needs of my two-and-a-half-year-old daughter with those of my four-month-old son. I feel guilty about how much TV my daughter watches while I am breastfeeding. And how little one-on-one time I get with each of the kids. I feel like I spend too much time yelling at my toddler. I know she misbehaves to get attention. And that it’s my fault. Add in the things that need to get done around the house, being a wife, and trying to spend time with my husband, and you have one spread thin momma. I know I need some resolutions this new year to make some changes.
In the spirit of the upcoming new year, I sat myself down and decided to make some resolutions to give us all a fresh start.
Resolution 1: Ask My Husband To Help More.
My husband is a wonderful man and would gladly help me out with things around the house. But I have to ask him directly to do so. He’s not the type to just wash dirty dishes he sees in the sink or throw a load of laundry in. I am really guilty of not asking for help and being resentful and angry that everything around the house falls on me. Now that we have two kids, it’s time to divide and conquer!
Resolution 2: Give Our Weekdays Structure.
We currently have a very loose routine during the week and it is not helping. Structure helps keep me sane. Being able to look at the calendar and see what is coming up helps too. I have a great weekly/monthly planner that I need to use better. It has a spot for the top three goals for the week as well as “to-do” lists for each day. If I plan to accomplish specific things each day, I can plan my days better and make sure the kids get what they need too. Creating consistent nap time and bedtime routines falls in here somewhere as well.
Resolution 3: Save Screen Time For When I Need It And Set Stricter Limits.
My plan is to allow my daughter to watch TV twice a day (at most) while I work on something for my business or this blog. Right now I am not good at setting limits and I feel pretty bad about that.
Resolution 4: Plan More Activities.
This applies to our entire family. I’d like to plan crafts and games for my toddler to do during the week so that when she gets bored I have something to offer besides TV. She goes to a Parents Day Out (PDO) program twice a week. And I’d like to start participating in something else, like story time at the library, one day a week.
My little guy is definitely in need of things to do during the day so that he can learn about the world around him. Reading to him is a huge priority for me, as well as giving him some one-on-one time that doesn’t involve nursing.
Since my husband works long hours and travels frequently for his job, it’s becoming more apparent that we need to plan family activities ahead of time if we want to do something on the weekend. Not that we need plans every weekend. Just less flying by the seat of our pants! My husband and I never get to go on dates or do anything without our children anymore. And we really need to change that. I miss spending time with him one-on-one and doing things together.
Resolution 5: Make Time For Myself.
As any parent knows, this will be the hardest resolution to keep. Everything else comes before me. That’s just the way I am. Now that I have two children I can barely find enough time to see my dog training clients and teach my monthly dog and child classes. I have a book that I have been trying to finish since March. I’ve pinned sewing projects that have been sitting for a year. And there are boxes of my things that I still haven’t unpacked. I’m not quite sure how I will make this one happen. But I am determined to figure it out! Having some time to myself will definitely make me a better parent.
Well, there you have it. Big resolutions for the new year, but an overhaul is what this mommy needs! What are your goals for the new year? Any tips to help me be successful? I’d love to hear them! Happy New Year!
Originally published January 2019.