Imagine that you knew your son would grow up to be Captain America someday, that he would lead the American troops to victory over some foreign threat. Would that knowledge change the way you parent? What if Aniken Skywalker’s mom knew that he would one day turn into Darth Vader? Do you think she would have let him go with Quigon? Or do you think she would have kept him home, done anything and everything she could to keep him from the dark side? If we saw ourselves as the moms to superheroes or potential bad guys, would that change the way that we parent? It has for me.
My boys love to dress up in superhero costumes. It’s not unusual for me to see a two foot spider man running past the kitchen or to be pushing a batman in the cart at Target. They love all things superhero; books, movies and all the accessories. And I love to see them get into character and chat about good guys and bad guys. It’s adorable.
What’s not cute though is a little boy dressed up as batman who goes around hitting people. A few months ago my youngest boy’s love for superheros took a bad turn when he got into the habit of pushing little girls in the childcare at the gym and hitting random strangers we walked by at the library. I was mortified! I had no idea how to deal with a child who hit people. So like most moms in uncharted territory, I sought advice from my peers.
It was my sister in law who said, in not so many words, to be proactive. This was the age (two and a half) where you’re just always teaching them and talking to them about how to behave.
So I told my son that in our family, we are the good guys. I told him that he was my little superhero and before we go somewhere we talk about the way that a superhero should act. Does a superhero push girls? No, a superhero protects girls. Does a superhero hit people? No, they keep people safe.
This is a small practical way that I am raising my boys to be decent members of society. But this philosophy of raising superheros bleeds into other areas of parent hood and it’s dramatically changing the way I view my role as a mom.
We all know that being a mom is a pretty big deal. If you’re anything like me though, you might often loose sight of the end goal, just hoping to make it to bedtime.
But when we see ourselves as the mom to a little boy who will grow up to save the world, things suddenly seem a little more urgent. Our job becomes a little more important, right?
When you’re the mom to superheroes, every day counts. Every day is another day you have to train them in the way they should go; to prepare them for battle. No more, “I’ll deal with that tomorrow” or, “He’ll get it when he’s older.” No, mamas, the time to teach him is here and now and that time is fleeting.
When you’re the mom to superheroes you praise your little ones for even the smallest act of bravery and encourage them to try hard things.
When you’re the mom to superheroes, you preach little deeds of kindness and little acts of love because you don’t have to be able to shoot webs out of your hands to make a difference in someone’s life.
When you’re the mom to superheroes, you’re constantly on the look out for heroes who’ve had a little more practice. You point out their strengths to your boys and talk about how they could be just like them some day. You say things like, “Isn’t it so cool how hard daddy works for our family? I’m sure you’re going to make a great dad someday.”
When you’re the mom to superheroes, well, the safety the world is kind of in your hands.
I need to remember that. I need to remind myself that although I might not be raising the next batman, I could be training up a world changer. Sitting across from me at breakfast could be the next President of the United States, the founder of a company like Apple, the one who finds a cure for a cancer, a pilot in the airfare, an attorney, a fireman, or father of three.
My kids could change the world. The question is, will they use their powers for good?
I sure hope they do, I’m praying they do. And I’m doing everything I can to make sure they are equipped with everything they need to be superheroes in a sad, fallen world. And lucky for me, being a mom to superheroes makes me supermom! That’s a title I don’t mind having.
