Mom-Dating: Is She Gonna Text Me?

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Mom-Dating.  It’s kinda scary and makes me feel all inadequate and pathetic.

If I’m not momming, usually I’m nose-deep in a book, or in a trance in front of a Netflix show.  It’s most often a show from the 90’s that either I was obsessed with in the 90’s, or missed the bus for and am just now jumping aboard.

I may get the occasional text or Facebook message asking if I want to join a playdate (Which, to be honest, is one of my worst nightmares…future blog post) or, the ever-popular, a home-sales party.  Now, I am not knocking these home parties, but I have such social anxiety that this stuff makes me cringe.  I visibly recoil when I get these invites.  I don’t know anyone, I show up and feel automatically like I am surrounded by Susie-Homemakers and I am the only one buying her clothes at Wal-Mart and Target, not LuLaRoe, and PoshPerfectHousekeepingMommy.

Moms, kids, Mom-dating
The best mom-friends will love your kids like their own.
(Brittany and my son, Aden)

I then sit down, realize my gut is way too visible with the outfit I chose, and sip a drink or munch some food and feel the minutes drag on… Then suddenly, from across the room, or school pick up lobby, or playground or birthday party, comes a kindred spirit.  I am immediately drawn to her, as I see her fidget and occasionally give a shy smile to the other moms.  Yay! She is also uncomfortable!  And she is driving a minivan!  And she has a shirt on that I know I saw at Target!

Now, I need to make my move.  If I seem too excited, she’ll think I’m crazy.  However, if I stay in my comfort zone, I’ll never make friends, and I’ll sit at home and cry to my husband that I have no friends.  We’re going for a happy medium here.  I smile and say, “Hey, I’m Ericka.  You’re Landon’s mom, right?”  And hopefully, she smiles back and says, “Yeah, you’re Aden’s mom.  Landon and Aden are little buddies in class!”

If I’m extra lucky, she’ll be a bookworm, she’ll love some of my same shows, authors, Harry Potter, Jane Austen and share a love for wine, beer, or other liquor, because, hey, I love me some wine.

Wine, Mom, Friends
My Bestie and our Hubbies

A really good mom-friend will text you something hilarious, she’ll friend you right away on Facebook (yay!  She likes me!!) and she’ll ask you out for drinks, book store hunting, lunch without the kids, couples’ nights with the hubbies, and there is NO pressure to clean your house, dress up, do your makeup or show off.  This is the best.  You can both rock your yoga pants, flip flops and unmade faces because you don’t need all of that…you see each other for what’s on the inside.

 

All said and done, most moms don’t see themselves as just moms.  So, you aren’t really mom-dating, but just making friends.  If you are nervous in a social gathering, you probably aren’t alone.  If you aren’t wanting to do a playdate, other moms probably have the same feelings…because, who can pay attention to a conversation when everyone is randomly yelling out “Get off of there!”, “stop doing that”, and “be careful, you’re gonna fall!”?  If you feel kind of frumpy, you probably aren’t alone.  (Even if you didn’t give birth to your children, no one has the time for themselves anymore these days!)  If you are a working mom surrounded by stay-at-home moms, you can bet you are actually the envy of the room!  If you are a stay-at-home mom surrounded by working moms, same goes.  We all have worth, and often don’t see it.  But, we see that worth in others often and feel inadequate–don’t!

Each mom is a girl at heart, looking for other girls to play Princesses with–just with pedicures and wine instead!

If she’s the right mom friend, she’ll text.

Mom Dating, Friends, Kids

1 COMMENT

  1. I can relate…I actually have a pseudo policy that I don’t attend home sales events. I’m curious for your future post about play dates, I’ve noticed everyone has a different definition of what a play date consists of, and some of the definitions are quite stressful to even think about, but I think for me one of the least stressful opportunities to hang out with a new mom friend is a play date at a park.

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