Modern-Day Moms Have It Hard

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Being modern-day moms is hard, amIright?

“You are working while someone else watches your kids? I could never do that.” This is a common reaction that working moms get.

“It must be nice to have a husband who makes enough money for you to stay home.” How many stay-at-home moms have heard that snarky remark?

Or my favorite: “Working from home while simultaneously caring for your children? How convenient. I wish I could do the same.” Do ya, though?

Before I was a modern-mom, I worked in Corporate America. I was a young 20-something with a career-driven vision. There wasn’t enough time or energy to pay attention to the nay-sayers. Scarlett was formula-fed (gasp!), and the only type of attachment parenting style that we practiced was co-sleeping. Oddly enough, I  didn’t feel much shame as a mom. We had a wonderful village in Denver, and access to social media wasn’t as rampant as it is today. My oldest was born in an era where apps on our phones weren’t a thing, and we didn’t have the judgy comments at our fingertips. The hardest thing for me was having enough energy at the end of a high-stress job to come home and serve my household. I surveyed moms via Facebook and it turns out that this is still a hard balance.

Albuquerque Headshots for R1
PC Etnie Faith Photography

Day in and day out. Day in and day out.

Stay-at-home moms pour their energy, time, love, blood, sweat, and tears into these tiny humans, yet they are still judged. They better be the queens of the craft, know how to make elaborate birthday cakes, and their kids ought to know how to count to 100 by the age of two. It’s science, right? I mean they literally can scour Pinterest for hours learning how to present a perfect life. There really is no excuse. How dare any stay-at-home mom live in filth. After all, her husband works tireless hours to bring home the bacon. He should never have to come home to screaming kids, toys on the floor, or God forbid, no dinner on the table. And she thinks she can go have fun for a girls night out? She has no job, therefore, she needs no break.

Enjoying Time with Friends at Acequia Winery
Enjoying Moms Day Out At Acequia Winery

Currently, I’m a work-from-home mom, 75% of the time. Last night I was leaving a voicemail for a cooperating broker when my oldest started screaming bloody murder. She was asked to keep an eye on my other daughter while I was making a phone call. I quickly hung up and ran in to make sure that someone wasn’t seriously hurt. It turns out that my oldest accidentally picked up a centipede thinking it was a piece of carpet. Thankfully, she saved the baby from the creature but was sure that she was poisoned. I held her, comforted her, and calmed her down. There are instances like that, and then I’m faced with ridicule for networking. If I’m not actively earning an hourly wage, my kids should not be in someone else’s care. How dare me.

There are articles that say we are doing everything right as moms. But then there are articles that say just the opposite.

Breast is best, yet fed is best. No screen time, ever, yet they need to practice with screens because that is where our world is headed. Kids should read for 20 minutes per day, but they shouldn’t read certain books. No vaccines, yes vaccines.

Modern-day moms have too much information, and it is overloading our brains. It’s overloading their brains. I love you, mamas. As long as you aren’t physically beating or neglecting your kids, you are doing an awesome job. Can we all challenge each other to tell moms that they are doing great? Can we support them? Enough is enough.

modern-day moms

Clearly, I wrote this blog post in a sarcastic tone.

But please, modern-day moms, take this from someone who has been all three types of moms. I’ve worked out of the home, stayed home, and my current office is at my residence. I respect all women who are legitimately taking care of their kids. The moms who place their kids’ needs before their own, because I know that half of the battle is the general public. We live in a time where everything we do is judged. At the end of the day, when we are returning to some sort of solace, I’m sure most of us look like this after we remove the make-up, finish the daily workload, and try to slide into bedtime. You are doing a great job, mama. Don’t let anyone rain on your parade.

Originally published September 2019

The opinions expressed in this post are those of the author. They do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of ABQ Mom, its executive team, other contributors to the site, its sponsors or partners, or any organizations the aforementioned might be affiliated with.

2 COMMENTS

  1. Girl you are on my level I been all of these moms as well! that saying “ It must be nice “ Drives me nuts! Now that I started over its hard for me to be away from my 18 month old and 25% I go into the office and my mom cares for my daughter but the other 75% I work from home and let me tell you “It is nice”!
    I believe if you want things to change you have to be the change.
    The saying “Must be nice” has to go away!
    The judging has stop, because you have no idea what that mom has gone through that day or any other day!
    We as moms know the struggles we go through mentally, physically, and emotionally it’s time we build each other up!

  2. I have no idea how I missed this. I’m so sorry. I know I responded on Facebook, but not on here. It totally is nerve-wracking, isn’t it? We need to build each other up, not give each other backhanded compliments. And yes, we never know what others have been through. Amen, sister!

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