“You can buy a million-dollar house on Rio Grande this year, and want a 2 million dollar house next year.”
This is something that my cousin told me a while back, and it couldn’t ring more true. When will anything ever be good enough for me? We bought a beautiful custom home with a view of the entire city and mountains; however, a year later, I am searching for something twice as big, with a lot more greenery. Bratty as it may seem, I am always looking for the next thing.
If you remember one of my previous posts, I have high functioning anxiety and depression. My mind constantly has to be busy, or else I will crawl into a bed, in a dark room, and not want to emerge. Impossible with 3 kids, and a demanding job. Perhaps this is why I am always looking for more. My expectations are incredibly high when it comes to anything. My kids, husband, myself, coworkers, my own work, customer service, etc.
Contentment is not gifted. It’s earned.
In a world of social media, comparison is a major issue that both adults and kids have to deal with. I will be the first to tell you that my life looks cooler online than it is in real life. This is often the case for everyone. While my family does the things I post with excitement, sometimes there is major stress leading up to it. Beautiful hikes are typically met with an independent screaming toddler who is upset that you grabbed her hand to ensure that she doesn’t walk off of a cliff.
Our family practices gratitude daily. The kids are taught to seek out beauty wherever we go. They are encouraged to tell people what they like about them, and do it with a smile. This is something that is very important to me. A compliment can make someone’s whole entire day. Even though these habits ingrained into our minds, I still want more.
A new city, a new school, a bigger house, a nicer car. Every time we move somewhere, we are in love, until we aren’t. We’re gypsy souls just drifting through. This is okay to an extent. Dreaming and fulfilling goals are incredibly important, but when is enough, enough? Will we ever set roots down long enough for the kids to develop life long neighborhood friends?
This sounds incredibly ungrateful and whiny.
When these words leave my mouth, I gross my own self out. Unlike the millennial stereotype, I don’t feel entitled to these things. My husband and I work incredibly hard and purchase our homes and cars with no assistance. That being said, we get a lot of help from grandparents when it comes to our children. We are forever grateful. Our goal-oriented minds are just always wanting to see what’s next.
Perhaps one day, we will be satisfied. The practices I’ve planted into my mind will be enough. The laughs, the smiles, the house, car, city, etc. will be all that is needed. Until then, I will try my hardest to not pass this toxic trait onto my children. Because, quite frankly, we have a darn good life, and this attitude will do nothing but ruin it.
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