Moms of ABQ :: We Said Yes (Christy-Part 2)

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We found a little girl, Lily, in China. And we said yes.

At that very same orphanage, there was a little boy who had been left there as a newborn was also waiting. His name was Levi.

We said yes and brought them both home.

Christy: We Said Yes

Christy: We Said Yes
Lily and Levi

Click here to view more of our journey to adopt Lily and Levi. They were three and four years old at the time they came home with us. Endale was three as well. Because of the developmental delays they experienced, the three of them were essentially triplet toddlers. We loved them so much.

And still, life got so hard. I went through a time of depression.

This was NOT regret. Life was uniquely difficult at this time. For kids with Down Syndrome AND with kids who have experienced profound neglect (as ours had in their respective orphanages), growth takes a very, very long time. Our days were long, and I felt isolated. The hopelessness, in addition to being physically exhausted, on top of being ashamed of how I was feeling, was overwhelming.

I was afraid to tell people how I really felt.

“I’m a Christian,” I thought, “Shouldn’t I be able to lean on Christ and find new strength? It’s wrong of me to feel like this.” I was also worried that people would think that I regretted adopting our wonderful children. “It’s never going to get better” was the mantra I believed.

“You should go see a doc,” my husband said. That’s what I needed to get out of the pit I was in. My doctor prescribed some medication that I took for a short time. It helped me reset and truly changed the course of where I was headed.

God restored my joy.

Truly, this was miraculous.  It didn’t happen overnight, but slowly over time, I became fully myself again.

I truly believe that everything we went through, all the hard days, exhaustion, and inner pain, prepared us for Glory. God showed us in that time: “I’m here, and I’m not going ANYWHERE!”

The day they put Glory in my arms, I wept. “I could have missed this because I was afraid,” I thought.

We REALLY thought we were done. But when we saw Glory, we knew we weren’t. Again, we said yes.

Bulgaria requires adoptive parents to make two trips. On the first trip, the parents get to spend an hour to five days with their soon-to-be child under the orphanage staff’s watchful supervision. I spent the full five days with Glory. Then, I had to leave her behind and wait.

I had to leave her behind at a place that supplied her with one bottle a day for her basic sustenance and even less for everything else she needed.

It’s no exaggeration to say I cried without stopping all the way home and for the next four months until her country allowed us to come get her.

Christy: We Said Yes

Glory was almost two years old at that point and weighed 13 pounds. And one more thing . . . her heart was failing.

Click here to view more on our story of adopting Glory!

After giving birth to Glory, her mother discovered that she had Down Syndrome along with Tetralogy of Fallot (a combination of FOUR congenital heart defects). She left the hospital without her.

We firmly believe that God hasn’t left us even in our worst state. It was our honor to be the ones to say, “We’re HERE. And we’re not going ANYWHERE” to Glory.

We said yes then, and we will forever say yes to her life, to her purpose, to her worth, and to her joy.

She had open-heart surgery upon arriving home and has had six other surgeries since.

We’ve also discovered that Glory is deaf. Our family knows some sign language, as it helps our kids with Down Syndrome gain tools for communication before they can speak. So, we are working with a deaf mentor who is helping us learn and grow even more in this area.

I’m just SO glad that I get to be the one to be there for and with Glory.

It’s such a privilege to be the one to demonstrate to her that she will NEVER be left again and that she has someone who will always fight for her.

It’s not lost on us that we could’ve missed all of this. We regularly look at each other and ask, “What if we had said no?”

It’s true, our lives were forever changed when we said yes to these kids. There will be no empty nest, no retirement travel. Endale, Lily, Levi, and Glory will likely live with us forever. But we truly wouldn’t change a thing.

Everyday life is busy, hard, and beautiful.

We firmly believe that God is still writing our story. Our children are now 5, 11, 10, 10, 14, 15, and 21. Though he is in remission, I am aware that my husband could see his cancer return. I could certainly be walking this road without him someday. But knowing that God will carry us through if that becomes our reality gives us courage.

We have one life. Just one. We want to live it well. We move forward and trust that God will sustain us no matter what the future holds.

One thing we hope our future holds is a community for our kids.

So often, people just don’t know what to do or how to interact with people with disabilities. And so, we avoid them. We have asked people in our church and others who regularly see us to simply presume competence when approaching our kids. Just because Levi doesn’t look people in the eyes and is largely nonverbal doesn’t mean he’s not listening. Let me tell you, he is ALWAYS listening!

Levi

It means the world when people treat our kids with disabilities like we do, which is to say, just the same as we’ve treated our kids who don’t have disabilities. We expect them to be thoughtful, kind, responsible, and independent.

We have watched our older three children develop an incredible willingness to approach and interact with all kinds of people. Their perspective comes from their experience, of course. They’ve seen that their siblings are just kids, after all. They like all the things other kids like.

A person with a disability is just like you.

Christy: We Said Yes
Lily

They have infinite worth and were born for a purpose. They enjoy many of the things you enjoy. They need friendship. They have much to contribute to the world. My hope is that more people will develop the willingness to engage in relationships with people with disabilities. As we’ve seen with our older kids, the more time a person spends with people with disabilities the more they will see their extraordinary worth and want to include them in their lives.

We believe our story is just the story of God’s love for us.

He came to get us when we were far from Him. He adopted us as His own. He provides for us, delights in us, and daily cares for us. He will never leave us alone.

We’re so glad to have the privilege of daily seeing Him show up for us in big ways. We never could have done any of this without Him.

And to think . . . we could have missed this. We are so, so glad we said yes.

Christy: We Said Yes
The Sellers and Their “Magnificent 7”


The opinions expressed in this post are those of the author. They do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of ABQ Mom, its executive team, other contributors to the site, its sponsors or partners, or any organizations the aforementioned might be affiliated with.