Here’s The Truth
While I’d like to stand here and say I’m thriving daily and basking in the glory of the “present” with my toddler, the hard truth is some days I miss the old days of high school and college where making friends was so easy, and I’m not very good at making new adult friends.
Why is it so hard to make friends as an adult? The way I see it is adult life is full of changes: marriages, babies, careers, moves, soccer practices, carpool schedules and so many sleepless nights. Trying to keep up with friends in the midst of it all is challenging, if not exhausting.
So I Asked Other Women
I turned to ten different women I know between the ages of 21 and 60 to ask them how they maintain their friendships and make new friends. Do you know that 95% of them told me that making and maintaining friendships as an adult was hard for them as well! A few said they just didn’t take the time to reach out, but wished they did. Others told me that they would only hang out with friends once a month, if even. Most of them admitted that they were disappointed in their lack of pursuing friendships and realized just how complacent they had become.
I am sure a lot of us can relate! I know I can! Because I can’t even remember the last time I hung out with just girlfriends. And it’s been a really long time since I’ve made a new adult friend.
Almost every woman I interviewed said they do not have as many friends now as they did when they were in high school or college, but wish they made more of an effort. Interestingly enough, several of them were grateful for my questionnaire because it made them stop and realize just how long it had been since they reached out to their friends or made any new ones.
When the Dynamics of Life Change, So Do Our Friendships
Since the dynamics of life change as we get older, so do the dynamics of friendships. The way we maintain friendships and the way we make new friendships has to change with us. So what do we do? I think we need to rethink the way we connect and the way we reach out. Several of the ladies I talked to shared some very insightful tips to help me consider how I can be a better friend and cultivate new friendships. Read on!
Advice to Your Younger Self
T. (Age 23)
R. (Age 30)
I would say to not be afraid to be uncomfortable and actively involve yourself in activities with new people. To embrace the awkward moments! They lead to some great new relationships :).
K. (Age 24)
H. (Age 25)
Find people who understand you and value your beliefs and time. Find people who will care about you and who will be there for every stage of life. The ones who still make time to talk and check in are usually the ones who stay close!
T. (Age 47)
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