Because Kindness and Grace Heal
I think we are all looking for kindness and a touch of grace in our lives right now. But what do grace and kindness even look like in this season?
In the midst of this pandemic, in the throes of cancel-culture, the deconstruction of everything, heightened emotions, depression, anxiety, health issues, and isolation, it’s fair to say that we are all exhausted both mentally and emotionally. We are all doing what we can to make it from day to day. We are balancing jobs or lack of jobs. Families are dealing with changes in finances, modified work schedules, homeschooling, and mental health.
Convictions that Divide
I see so many of us trying to do what’s best for our families. And yet we hear the criticism and face disappointment. We hurt feelings of loved ones while we choose to isolate or not. We make decisions to protect our health and our families at the cost of distancing others.
If we feel deeply about quarantining and maintaining distance, we are liable to hurt others. If we feel deeply about not wearing a mask, we are liable to push others away.
No matter what side of issues we stand on, which conviction we hold, someone will disagree, someone will judge, someone will be disappointed with our choices.
But what I’m slowly learning during this pandemic is that I cannot live my life based on others’ expectations of me; that is others outside of my immediate family. I cannot break my firm-held convictions of protecting my family just because someone is critical of us or annoyed that we didn’t show up. I cannot cave when someone stops reaching out or connecting with us because they are annoyed with our choices. My husband and I are going to make decisions that feel right to us. We also have to understand that others are making choices that are best for them, whether we agree or not.
Ways I Can Love Others Well
Now more than ever there has to be an outpouring of grace on both sides. I can sit here all day and list the things that I think others should do for me to make me feel better and take away the sting of fractured relationships from the distance and the chaos the pandemic has brought into our lives. But instead, I’m trying to come up with ways that I can love others well. I always go back to Mother Teresa’s advice to “Be kind anyway.”
- Extending kindness. Maybe we don’t show up for something, but we send a thoughtful card or gift. Maybe we do show up and notice a friend hasn’t. We let them know they are loved and missed.
- Going above and beyond. Well, to be honest, I think we are all mentally and emotionally exhausted. So it’s hard to think of things to do for others when we are hurting. So, on good days, write down a few things that you can do for family and friends that you haven’t seen in a while. For example a “ding dong dash” coffee surprise (leave it on their doorstep after ringing their bell).
- Text that “someone” frustrated with your absence. Let them know you’re thinking of them. Regardless of how they respond, you showed kindness anyways.
- Text that “someone” who chose to quarantine with their family and not attend church or school or meetings or family gatherings and let them know you are thinking of them.
- Get digitally creative! Create short home videos with the kids to share with loved ones and friends, tik tok challenges, monthly photo challenges with cousins or friends.
Healing Through Kindness
So many of us are trying to balance what we feel is best for us and our relationships with others, be it family, work, church or friends. So many of us are facing challenges we’ve never had to deal with before. And sadly, many of us are finding ourselves more alone now than when the pandemic and social chaos all began.
But I’ve been challenged these days to extend more grace to those who are critical of our choices. I believe that through kindness and grace we find the strength to press on. And in that strength, we will find healing.
