I remember crying in my bath tub three days after we brought our daughter home from the hospital. Tensions were high in my marriage. My husband and I were trying to figure out how to take care of a newborn, and it was not going well.  I was a mess-the kind of emotional and physical mess that happens after delivering a baby.

My postpartum hormones screamed “This baby was a mistake!” But another voice reassured me, “She’s not a mistake; she’s the solution.”

After 10 months of parenthood, I can clearly see how our beautiful, amazing baby IS the solution. Our marriage has never been better and it’s all because of her. 

How Having a Baby Made my Marriage Better

I Have to Rely on my Husband More

I realized early on after baby girl came into the world I had two choices. First option: I could do everything on my own and be frustrated when my husband offered to help because it wasn’t the way I would do it. Second (better) option: lean in and let go. I could  ask  for help and rely on him to be my partner in raising our baby. (Turns out, he’s a pretty amazing partner, too!) We have different opinions and ways of doing things, but life is so much better when we work as a team instead of work against each other.

We Get Over Stuff Faster

There’s not time to stay mad at each other. I think this is my favorite part about having a baby with my awesome husband. It’s made us better at getting over the stupid stuff in our relationship. By the time we have a chance to get annoyed at something, our focus is forced to change because baby needs something or she’s being adorably cute and…what were we mad about again?

Our Baby Brought Us Closer

I believe the main reason our marriage is stronger now than before baby is because we have united in a way that we had not done before. On the day we got married, we became a new family, but our family was strengthened and united even more when we welcomed our daughter into this world.  She has brought our extended family together and is the link that unites us all.

Our marriage still has its  ups and downs-great days and just okay days. On the rough days, I remind myself of how far we’ve come. I tell myself to lean in to my husband and let go of everything else, and I never regret it. We are better partners because we have one goal: to be the best parents we can be.