What Grief Teaches Us About Love

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The last few years have been full of grief. I think that many of us can relate. Loss is a part of life–a hard part of life. So many emotions surround the grieving process. These experiences and feelings shape us. It doesn’t matter if this is your first experience or your thousandth experience, it is hard each time. Grief teaches us lots of things, but mostly grief teaches us about love.

Grief Teaches Us About Life

Sometimes when we are attending a funeral of a loved one who has lived a long and happy life, we get to learn more about them and the way they lived. We hear stories about how they learned and laughed and grew. We are sad that they aren’t with us but happy that we got to know them.

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And sometimes we are at a funeral for someone that died an unexpected death. While we still learn about their life, we realize that we are going to miss out on new experiences with this person. We mourn not only the life that was lost but the life that they will never have.

And there are even times when we mourn a life wasted. A life that could have been full and wonderful but instead was filled with hurt and sorrow.

All of these situations remind us about how fragile life is, and they serve as a good reminder to live a life we can be proud of.

My husband’s Grandma Stone who passed away in February 2023.

Grief Teaches Us About Regret

Often regret comes after loss. What could we have said or done while they were still here? The remorse that we feel can weigh heavy on our hearts and minds. These regrets can also lead to guilt which makes it harder for us to cope. We might even want to keep these feelings to ourselves because we feel so awful about all of it. However, it’s best to reach out and talk about these feelings. Someone with an outside perspective can offer great insight and help us feel less alone.

And just because you regret something doesn’t mean you’ve done anything wrong. Regret is a very normal emotion to feel after losing someone. However, if you feel like you are drowning in these feelings and can’t seem to escape, please reach out to someone.

My Uncle Scott and I circa 1997. He passed away in April 2022.

Grief Teaches us About Love

“Grief, I’ve learned, is really just love. It’s all the love you want to give, but cannot. All that unspent love gathers up in the corners of your eyes, the lump in your throat, and in that hollow part of your chest. Grief is just love with no place to go.” -Jamie Anderson 

We miss people after they die because we love them. We miss them because they’ve been a part of our lives and now there is an emptiness. So what does grief teach us about love? It teaches us to love fully, live with purpose, and learn from our regrets.

Grief is love, apathy, pain, confusion, heartache, and resiliency. And if anyone tells you that you’re not grieving correctly, you have permission to tell them to get lost.

If you or a loved one is struggling to cope after a difficult loss, these resources may be helpful.



The opinions expressed in this post are those of the author. They do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of ABQ Mom, its executive team, other contributors to the site, its sponsors or partners, or any organizations the aforementioned might be affiliated with.